Self Esteem, how does one find it, low self esteem, how does one get it?
Esteem: (definition according to Webster's Dictionary) to value, appraise, estimate, to have great regard for; value highly; favorable opinion, high regard…
To have low self esteem is to not value, or have high regard for yourself. People withlow self esteem never feel in charge of their own lives. They often feel like victims. They feel like outsiders, left out, unimportant, etc..
However low self esteem has two faces. One is the personality that seems to always be the underdog, the under achiever, the negative one, the one who says I can’t, I couldn’t, I shouldn’t, I have to. The other face is the person who seems very confident, a take charge type of person, very in control, very opinionated, positional, and often in leadership positions. All of this bravado is still a face of low self esteem. This type of person, may exhibit any or all of these traits: when things go wrong, wants to eat other people alive, or is a perfectionist, demanding, and self centered, can’t take criticism, instruction, or direction, is very independent and self sufficient. They may be in leadership positions, and yet not be true leaders. This type of low self esteem will often deny that anything is wrong, because thinking they are in charge is their protection, yet truly being in charge of your life, eliminates anger, irritation, the desire to control others.
When a person truly esteems themselves, will take 100% responsibility For their own lives. They let others make decisions for themselves without trying to be in control, and let others be responsible for their actions. Life lived right is a delicate balance, and we all need help maintaining this balance.
What is the face of true self esteem? Those with true self esteem are in charge of their lives. They take 100% responsibility for everything that happens in their lives. If relationships are not working in their life, they ask, what is it in me that is attracting this type of person or what am I doing to create this situation, instead of blaming the other person,… if only they would, or could do this or that. If their finances are not what they desire, they ask what can I do to change this and they tap into their creative, intuitive side to do this. They do not waste time saying, there is never enough, if only I had a better job, if only, if only. They set about discovering why this is presently their situation.
True self esteem values itself, it says, I can do, I can have, I can make my life what I desire it to be. Think of the Cartoon, Winnie The Poo Eore has no self esteem, he expects things to go wrong and they usually do. Tigger on the other hand, bounces through life, always hopeful, always on an adventure, even when his friends try to pull him in, he just sees the bouncy side of things. He exasperates those who need total order, or control. Tigger is truly, just Tigger. He loves his friends just as they are and even grouchy old rabbit can’t dampen his spirits. I love Tigger, though I certainly have had my Eore moments! If you get a chance, watch the cartoon or read a Poo book
See who you identify with and who irritates you…. This week try and be aware of the times you feel uncomfortable, depressed, discouraged, irritated, frustrated, out of control, or the flip side, very independent, self sufficient, (don’t need any one else, I will do it myself, no one else can do it right), opinionated, critical, positional, and ask yourself, where am I not valuing myself.
To have low self esteem is to not value, or have high regard for yourself. People with
However low self esteem has two faces. One is the personality that seems to always be the underdog, the under achiever, the negative one, the one who says I can’t, I couldn’t, I shouldn’t, I have to. The other face is the person who seems very confident, a take charge type of person, very in control, very opinionated, positional, and often in leadership positions. All of this bravado is still a face of low self esteem. This type of person, may exhibit any or all of these traits: when things go wrong, wants to eat other people alive, or is a perfectionist, demanding, and self centered, can’t take criticism, instruction, or direction, is very independent and self sufficient. They may be in leadership positions, and yet not be true leaders. This type of low self esteem will often deny that anything is wrong, because thinking they are in charge is their protection, yet truly being in charge of your life, eliminates anger, irritation, the desire to control others.
When a person truly esteems themselves, will take 100% responsibility For their own lives. They let others make decisions for themselves without trying to be in control, and let others be responsible for their actions. Life lived right is a delicate balance, and we all need help maintaining this balance.
What is the face of true self esteem? Those with true self esteem are in charge of their lives. They take 100% responsibility for everything that happens in their lives. If relationships are not working in their life, they ask, what is it in me that is attracting this type of person or what am I doing to create this situation, instead of blaming the other person,… if only they would, or could do this or that. If their finances are not what they desire, they ask what can I do to change this and they tap into their creative, intuitive side to do this. They do not waste time saying, there is never enough, if only I had a better job, if only, if only. They set about discovering why this is presently their situation.
True self esteem values itself, it says, I can do, I can have, I can make my life what I desire it to be. Think of the Cartoon, Winnie The Poo Eore has no self esteem, he expects things to go wrong and they usually do. Tigger on the other hand, bounces through life, always hopeful, always on an adventure, even when his friends try to pull him in, he just sees the bouncy side of things. He exasperates those who need total order, or control. Tigger is truly, just Tigger. He loves his friends just as they are and even grouchy old rabbit can’t dampen his spirits. I love Tigger, though I certainly have had my Eore moments! If you get a chance, watch the cartoon or read a Poo book
See who you identify with and who irritates you…. This week try and be aware of the times you feel uncomfortable, depressed, discouraged, irritated, frustrated, out of control, or the flip side, very independent, self sufficient, (don’t need any one else, I will do it myself, no one else can do it right), opinionated, critical, positional, and ask yourself, where am I not valuing myself.
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